What are some ways to have faith?

I've been the person once before who only cared about himself. for like a year strait. I had anger built up in me because I had no one to turn too. I was afraid of telling people my feelings. I was bullied when I was a kid. that stoped at 5th grade but kinda came back at 6th and 7th grade but not as much as 5th grade. anyways, now I am more aware of myself and others but i constantly get picked on by my friends. One acually befriended me but acts like we are still friends. I find myself asking a lot of questions in conversation. I been like that since i was a little boy. Very talkative, artistic. well this day forth i feel myself care more for other people. I always try to help out and share with friends and other people, but nobody takes it. like I tried to give a friend something. he tucked it under the couch pillow where he sat at. I found it the next week when I was cleaning up. people call me names like green azz ni**a when I ask questions. makes me feel like I am nobody and the more I ask the more I get lied too. Im socially awkward. my mom had panic attacks back in the day when I was selfish for that year. I blame myself for her panic attacks. I wanna tell her I sorry for that. another thing with my friends, they like to say stuff from rap artist about me. they would talk to me in a way that it seems they are talking about other people when in reality they are talking about me. I don't know what to say when that happens. they think I am crazy and im not. How can I show my faith and get away from all these lies people tell me. right now i am a little depressed with social anxiety. I'm not bipolar at all. those two does not mix at all. I just wanna do things for people. i don't care if I have nothing anymore cuz it dont feel right to have it.